It Takes a Village

My last blog was about my parents, who are the most legit people I know. They raised me in southcentral Alaska, which I am very grateful for because of the culture there.
Growing up in Alaska lends itself to being raised by a village. Not in the sense that we are all “eskimos” in a village (I know that’s what you were thinking), but that the culture creates pockets of people who do life together very closely. Through this, while I was provided for lovingly and sufficiently from my parents, I’ve had many men and women who have invested into my life as second parents. I’m not so sure that this culture is represented as greatly in the contiguous United States.

My second parents have intentionally and sometimes unintentionally helped mold me into who I am. I love them very much and I wish I could name them all, but it’s probable that I am going to miss somebody because I have been that blessed.

My first second family that I can remember being really involved with where the Walkers. Kevin and Carmen helped raise me when I was younger. In fact, my mom says that she left me with Carmen when my parents had to go on an out of state trip when I was so young that when my parents came back I had forgotten who they were. I spent many days playing with the Walker children, knowing what “double-dog woopings” were, making blanket forts, playing dress up, fishing, etc. Being a part of other families through friends such as the Hansens, St. Clairs, Thorntons, and Hibberds shaped my childhood and consequently, me.

Diana Thornton and myself, summer 2012

As I got a little older I got to know women like Carmen Franchino, Jeannie McNutt and Diana Thornton. These women mentored me, discipled me, listened to my high school drama, met with me, listened to me some more, let me sleep over, fed me, consoled me, and advised me.

In college, post college, and now I get to know great men like Dan O’Deens, Scott Feather, and Dr. Mark Soto, who helped/help shape my aspirations, own my faith, invest in other people, question my purpose and sanctify my ideas.

I’ve been blessed to be poured into post college by Ann Goebel and Bobbie Mohler and have come to know another beautiful second mom in Darla France.

All this to say, it’s getting to be that time when my friends are having babies. (Are we really old enough for that?!? 🙂 ) I live life pretty closely with people and for that I am greatly blessed. But now that babies are coming along, it’s time to step up. They will need second moms and dads to invest in them just like I was invested into. I’m grateful for the village I was raised in and am excited to be a part of the one to come.

A Legacy of Parenting

This past weekend I was a small group leader at a conference in which I paid first hand witness to the affects of parenting. The attendees at this conference were all collegiate aged and as they told stories about how their lives have been shaped, everyone of them (most unknowingly) made big statements about how their parents molded their future.

Some talked about abuse, emotional and physical, others about instability, distance, and absence. Later in the weekend I learned more about gender neutral terms and was given the example that a dad would say that his daughter was beautiful and his son very intelligent. As if he expected his daughter to live up to a cultural standard of being beautiful and nothing else. This was very odd for me to think about because my parents always just call me their favorite third child, sweetheart or chickadee.

Since returning home I’ve thought a lot about my childhood and how I was parented. It truly has shaped me into who I am today. I know that is true for everybody, but I can, with confidence say that my parent’s crafted me into who I am because they are awesome parents. (I wish I could say this has made me an awesome daughter, but unfortunately I don’t always live up to that.) I also know that my parents parented the way they did because of how they were parented – learning from some things that their parents did good and bad. So know this, even if you were parented with instability, loss, or abuse you can stop that cycle for your kids.

This is my 21st birthday card. My parents sent it to me when I lived in Alaska for the summer with family friends. The bottom words are cut off from scanning it, it says, I will miss you! This card is one of my most treasured possessions. It was given to me during very transformative  years of my relationship with Christ and unknowingly to my mom and dad it had, and still has, a lot of impact on me because of the second line. “I pray that your 21st year is not only a blessing to you, but a blessing to many others.” And there in lies the most important underlying reason why my parents are straight legit. They mission-ally think about other people. I am so blessed to be raised by this couple who have this mindset and worked hard to pass it along to me.

Mom & Dad with my nephew, Andrew.

My parents did not shelter me, but they truly supported me. I am only 26. Hard, unstable times are probably on their way, but I think I’ve been crafted to ride the waves well because of my parents. They taught me to survive on my own, to respect others, to give freely, to expect respect, to rise to the occasion, to lend a helping hand, to know that they will be there for me, and to love intensely among many other things.

Tim and Martha Cooper are very generous people and I’m praying that some day I will live up to their legacy in how I interact with others, especially if I should ever have children. Mom and dad, I cannot say thank you enough for my childhood and how you continue to support me, love me, advise me, mold me, teach me, and most importantly, point me towards the cross. I feel that I can speak for my siblings and all your “second” children, we love you very much!

ps. I’m sorry for probably embarrassing you with this post. I know you don’t usually seek the spotlight.

A Journey From There to Here

In the last two years I’ve lost 95 pounds… It’s honestly hard for me to believe. It’s harder for me to believe that I would actually write a blog post about this since I tend to be a pretty private person. However, today I decided to do just that because I’m (1) soon approaching the time that will make it two years since I changed my lifestyle and (2) because I feel encouraged when I read other peoples’ stories, so I’m going to tell you mine in the hopes that you’ll be encouraged too.

Here is a before and after photo of me from the summer after I graduated college (2009) to just about a month ago (2013). *Thank you Arley Binsack for taking these 2013 photos of me!

I thought I’d share some insight into the last two years and what seemed to have worked or not worked for me. I say “worked” loosely though, because that word seems closely tied to a “plan, diet, miracle pill, etc” and that’s not really what I did. I sincerely decided to change my lifestyle. Please note that as you read the below list, I am in NO WAY trained in fitness or health and cannot offer you advice beyond my own experience. Please also note that “changing your lifestyle” is a daily decision that does get easier but never comes naturally, speaking as somebody who has low will power and knows that the allure of ice cream still has some magical power over me.

1. Do it for Yourself: You cannot decide to change your lifestyle to meet anybody’s expectations beyond your own. If you feel that changing the way you look, act, or eat will win you anything outside of your own joy of feeling and looking different, you will be disappointed. Nobody can or will motivate you into a long term change than you definitively deciding on your own to do it.

2. Don’t Go it Alone: When I first started to exercise and eat differently Corri (at the time, France) Gutwein also decided to go this path. It tremendously and I mean TREMENDOUSLY helps to have somebody who is planning to meet you at the gym/rec and who eats similarly with you. First things first – establish a goal setting partner.

3. Get it Out of your House: You will notice over time that you only eat certain things and only buy certain things and when you only stock your house with foods that are healthy, you won’t be tempted to eat junk food as much, simply because it’s not accessible. Yes, you’ll probably still want to run out for some ice cream, but since it’s not easily right there for you to indulge, you are way less likely to. This is probably a lot easier for me because, being single, I normally don’t cook for anybody else.

4. Eating Right vs. Exercising: I read in the last few months that eating right is 80% of loosing weight and exercising is 20%. I can probably attest to this. If you choose to indulge on some things but still exercise, you can maintain, but probably not loose.

Our First 5K

5. Cold Turkey: When I first changed my lifestyle I basically went cold turkey from carbs, high calorie items, and sugar. I think this was necessary to completely wipe my system and start over. Now I’ve incorporated some of these things back into my lifestyle (sometimes too much!) but I still will not buy sweets, bread, red meat, french fries, or most fast food. I don’t really have a desire to have it. Once you’ve eaten clean for a long time, certain things don’t appeal to you and when you do eat them (like a chili cheese burrito from Taco Bell) it may feel like your insides are being ripped out. I eat chicken like my life depends on it.

6. How to Start Exercising: Our culture has certainly emphasized health and running recently with the popularity of 5k’s, marathons, Tough Mudder, Warrior Dash, Color Runs, etc. When people start running for the first time they often feel like they need to get on a treadmill and run 3 miles. Really? You’re going to go from 0 to 3 miles running? Please believe that NOBODY hops on a treadmill for the first week (with the hopes of loosing weight) and comes away thinking that they love to run. It just doesn’t happen. That’s why you have to start off a little slower than you’d like. Being a task-oriented person, I told myself that I would run XX number of minutes (and I started off slow.. I mean SLOOOOOW). Then I added a minute or two each time I ran to keep increasing my time overall. As I became more fit I could increase my speed too. Corri and I ran our first 5K outside together months after I started running. If you start running and realize that you hate it – keep running. It will get better after you feel more comfortable with your body and after your heart becomes more fit.

7. How to Go Long Term: Long term means the rest of my life. It is easy to get discouraged if you don’t loose that 10 lbs a week, but it really is true that loosing a couple pounds a week over a greater amount of time will set you up for long term success. Long term also means changing your life style, not just being on a diet.

8. Know Yourself: There will never be a day that I will wear size 2 pants. Not going to happen. I’m 5 foot 8 and very strong. If you see my parents and their siblings, you will understand that I was not made to be tiny. At some point you will have to become ok knowing that you will never be like a Victoria Secret model. But you can accomplish your goals, be a healthy person, and feel comfortable and confident in your own skin.

You will also find that your body reacts differently to food and exercise than other people. My genes make it so I can gain weight like it is my job. My metabolism runs right above 0, if that’s possible. When I eat specific foods I know that they will effect me differently. Know how you will process foods and know what works for you. Also know that even if you have friends that metabolism food like nobody’s business so they can’t gain weight to save their lives, it does not mean that their insides are healthy.

Michigan Marathon

9. Look Back: Even as I write this and look at photos I find myself challenged to continue on for the long haul. It’s good to remember where you’ve come from and see photos of yourself when you were not comfortable with being you to remind you why you should put down that cupcake.

10. Never Find Your Self Worth in Your Size: There will never be a time when you are so happy with the way you look that you will not find anything to change. It seems that as soon as you feel good, you find something or somewhere else that you wish would be a little smaller, flatter, or stronger. This is why you can NEVER find your self worth in your self image. Only Jesus can be all sufficient to find our sense of worth in. Only He can satisfy our longings, desires, esteem, and image. You will always fluctuate, He will not.

I hope this list helps you along the way or maybe even to say, right now is when I am going to change. If you wait until tomorrow, you will always be waiting until tomorrow.

Love, Erin